Decisions

So, as there has been so many things going on in my life lately, I've taken the time in my thinking process to really think about MY life. Have you ever stopped to realize that every decision YOU make really doesn't JUST effect YOU. I know the decision needs to be made for ME, but why am I worrying about EVERYONE else?

Every single decision I make is for my Reese bug. She is the only thing I try and worry about. Although that pushes me aside sometimes, SHE'S what I worry about. I need to think of what is best for her, in every tiny way.

Every decision we make has repercussions, they have a chain reaction of events. And as I dissect this process of decision making, I wonder to myself "Why can't I be the type of person who just MAKES a decision?" Why can't I just do something like *that* ? I worry about EVERY SINGLE person in my life and how my decisions will effect them, or how things may change? Why? I act like all around I just don't care what people think...but, the truth is, that little girl who begged for acceptance is still within me. It's just pathetic to me.

I've always had issues with hating myself. And so this is why I second guess myself CONSTANTLY. I just wish I could breathe....just breathe a deep, refreshing breath.

So I guess, I need to believe in myself and believe that I CAN make choices for MYSELF and feel good about them, whichever way I decide to go...

... I'm still battling with myself...

...so until next time.