Decisions

So, as there has been so many things going on in my life lately, I've taken the time in my thinking process to really think about MY life. Have you ever stopped to realize that every decision YOU make really doesn't JUST effect YOU. I know the decision needs to be made for ME, but why am I worrying about EVERYONE else?

Every single decision I make is for my Reese bug. She is the only thing I try and worry about. Although that pushes me aside sometimes, SHE'S what I worry about. I need to think of what is best for her, in every tiny way.

Every decision we make has repercussions, they have a chain reaction of events. And as I dissect this process of decision making, I wonder to myself "Why can't I be the type of person who just MAKES a decision?" Why can't I just do something like *that* ? I worry about EVERY SINGLE person in my life and how my decisions will effect them, or how things may change? Why? I act like all around I just don't care what people think...but, the truth is, that little girl who begged for acceptance is still within me. It's just pathetic to me.

I've always had issues with hating myself. And so this is why I second guess myself CONSTANTLY. I just wish I could breathe....just breathe a deep, refreshing breath.

So I guess, I need to believe in myself and believe that I CAN make choices for MYSELF and feel good about them, whichever way I decide to go...

... I'm still battling with myself...

...so until next time.

Oops! Here I am!

Guess I've slacked off a bit lately! Oops!

Life has been crazy lately, hence why I haven't been around. Let's see if I can catch you up to speed. Hmm...where do I start? (I apologize for no updated photos, my computer is acting up lately...)

Well, for one, our apartment building is up for sale. There's been a SERIOUS offer this time and the buyers might want to rent it out. So, that's a BIT of a relief, butttt the question remains, what if the rent is jacked? Well, the only reason we live in this apartment that I'm not an utter and complete fan of, is because it's sooo inexpensive. The ideas of what could happen in the near future are making me sick. And i'm SO sick of people telling us we should just buy already. Don't you think if we were in the position to buy, we would?? We're still trying to pay off debts and get on track with things, since we have had money trouble in our past. We're NOT ready or in a position to buy. Thanks. So, that alone has been stressing me out to the point where I think I'm making myself sick. I do not want to move again, I don't want to deal with people talking about how much we've moved (I am aware...believe me). Okay, next subject.

My baby girl officially turned 6 months old. Happy note! I can't believe it's even possible! Seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. It's really crazy how fast time goes by when you have children. I mean, it does NOT feel like 6 months have gone by, let alone a year. Whoa! :) She's doing awesome, had her 6 month checkup and she's still in the 75% for her weight. She's now 50% for her height! so yayy! She's not a shorty anymore! haha She says 4 words. "Hi" , "Wow", "Bubba" (bottle) and last but not least "Mumma!" She said Mumma this past weekend and it totally made my LIFE! Even though she likes to say it over and over and over again especially when she's fussing, I LOVE IT :) She's VERY close to crawling, and she does the military drag crawl allll over. I'm so proud of how smart she is :) She's doing soo well and progressing so quickly! I wish I could slow it down juuussssttt a tad. Oh and p.s. I started planning her birthday party! haha ohhh yesssss. lol

Other than my everyday with my princess, nothing much is new I guess. I'm battling a lot within myself lately, but that's something I need to figure out myself. And I'm figuring it all out now rather than later...I guess we all have our moments, where we stop and we have to catch our breath and say, "whoa, when did we actually grow up? and when did I become an adult?" I''m not saying I'm unhappy with the things that have happened, I'm just saying, some people lose themselves along the way of fulfilling what they want their lives to become. And I feel like I've lost a part of me, and can't figure out exactly which part it is...

Well! I need to get crackin' while the little angel takes her morning nap! So little time in my days! AH! Til next time...